Friday, May 20, 2005

Finales, Typos, and Lunch...Oh My

Happy Friday! May this Friday bring you peace, harmony, and an early dismissal from work.

Ok, enough of the mushies...let's blog.

The Apprentice

Last night's Apprentice finale had to be the most anti-climactic finish in reality show history. It was 56 minutes of "Tana, you suck" and "Kendra, you rock." So Trump telling Kendra that she was hired had the dramatic impact of a test pattern.

American Idol

I have to admit...I'm a big fan of American Idol, but next week's finale can't come soon enough. I am just all idoled out. Watching the show has become an exercise in repetition. So if anybody who works on the show is reading this for some freakish reason, I'd like to offer some advice for Season 5:
  • To the producers: Take a time management seminar. When you end at 9:33, you're cutting into other shows. On second thought, Stacked came after Idol this week. Stall away...
  • To the producers (again): I have boycotted Ford. I drink Pepsi. Thus, your horribly lame music videos are futile.
  • To Ryan: We know they're 866 numbers, not 800 numbers. They've been the same numbers for four years...we got it.
  • To Randy: Go to anyone on the street, tell them, "You can blow," and try to pass it off as a compliment. Let me know how that goes.
  • To Paula: Whore.
  • To Simon: We know you're "being completely honest." No need to preface every metaphor about Indonesian karaoke clubs by telling us that.
Typo of the Year

Every year, my boss' job at graduation is to assist faculty members with their robes. I find it infinitely amusing that University professors can have an encyclopedic knowledge of every war ever fought in the history of mankind...but they can't dress themselves. But I digresss...

Keeping the "robe" theme in your mind, read the instructions my boss was given for this year's graduation ceremony:

Once you have robbed the faculty, please assist the graduation staff in other capacities.

Good thing my boss is an administrator and not an academic. Because if a University professor read that, mark my words...there would be a public hanging in front of Old Main, followed by a French poetry reading.

Dan's "Brown Bag It" Challenge

The other day, I calculated how much I spend a month buying breakfast and lunch every day. Suffice to say, store-bought bagels and Sweet Chicken Teriyaki combos add up A LOT. So I'm challenging myself to bring lunch to work every day for at least the next month. And think, with all the money I'm saving, I could give more money to online casin...

Uh...

Starving children. Yeah. Starving children.

Until next time...
Dan

PS, I'll do my next "Working for the Man" installment soon. Pinky swear.

3 Comments:

At Friday, May 20, 2005 9:15:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you put the bagels and chicken teriyaki in a brown bag each day, would that count?

 
At Friday, May 20, 2005 10:52:00 PM, Blogger Dan said...

If I pack it, yes. If an illegal immigrant behind a sandwich counter does, then unfortunately, no.

 
At Wednesday, May 25, 2005 8:57:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

the early bird gets the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese!

 

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