Wednesday, June 07, 2006

We're Still Here + What Dan Learned in Atlantic Pictures!

Armageddon My Ass

Well, 06/06/06 has officially come and gone. I turned 26, Serbia and Montenegro dissolved, and the world didn't go boom. All I have to say is...


And not the "I scared you" BOO...I'm talking the "life of a Philadelphia sports fan" BOO. No antichrist, no raining frogs, not even a single solitary locust?! Media, you have once again failed to deliver. You practically promised hell, fire, and brimstone. You're lucky that I'm no longer a COMMS major forced to analyze your scare tactics and utter lack of ethics, or you'd be mighty sorry!

Well, there's always room for armageddon on my 86th birthday, which is 6/6/66. All I gotta say is that there better be a plague next time, or I' about it.


What Dan Learned in Atlantic City

Over the weekend, I (shocker of shockers) ventured to Atlantic City with Mike, Rusty, and Chrissy. I know I've been giving my typically novel-like recaps of trips as of late, but my AC tradition has always been to share my day in my trademark "What Dan Learned" format. However, in the interest of changing things up ever-so-slightly, I'm sharing "What Dan Learned"...but in pictures!

You: Oooooooooooooooh

And they're in .jpeg format!

You: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

So let's begin!

You: Ok.

If you're wondering if I've matured at my ripe old age of 26, please note that I laughed for a good five minutes straight upon seeing this sign.

From the state that brought you mandatory full-service gas and Jackoff the Clown, New Jersey proudly presents Lucy the Elephant.

From the state that brought you the country's independence and Bob Saget, Pennsylvania proudly presents its residents.

Standing next to a statue of the World's Tallest Man, it's somewhat disconcerting that my 5'2 frame is roughly the same height as the location of his groin.

Standing next to a statue of a naked woman, it's somewhat disconcerting that this is the closest I've gotten to...*sigh*. Never mind.

Some would call this sign an obvious request. I call it an open invitation.

Believe it or not, the Ripley's janitorial staff cleans its bathrooms.

Once again, the Price is Right Nickel Slot has become Dan's bitch.

That is all.

Until next time...

Note: Blogspot won't let me un-italicize for some reason.

Note 2: For a more detailed recap of the day, visit Mike's blog at There, you can get answers to burning questions like...
  • What the hell is Lucy the Elephant?
  • What novelty item did the gang absolutely go out of its way to find?
  • What the hell is wrong with these people?